Dead and Loving It
by beccatt
Summary: Immediately follows From Dead to Worse book 8 of the Southern Vampire Mysteries Things are changing and Sookie has important decisions she needs to make for the future. Will Eric fit into those plans? Eric/Sookie
1. Chapter 1

Dead and Loving It  
Summary – Immediately follows From Dead to Worse (book 8 of the Southern Vampire Mysteries) Things are changing and Sookie has important decisions she needs to make for the future. Will Eric fit into those plans? Eric/Sookie

Just a quick recap -The end of From Dead To Worse has Sookie meeting her cousin Hadley's son and she found out that he has her gift. This story is set immediately following .

A/N-I do not have a beta so all mistakes are mine (and please point them out!) I do not own these characters and am not making a profit in any way. I just like playing with them :P This is also the first time I have ever written in first person POV, so be patient! I started this because I love this pairing and there just aren't enough fics out there to suit me.

Chapter 1

I have no memory of getting in the car and driving back to Bon Temps, yet I found myself doing just that. My mind was too busy going over the visit I had just had. I had finally met my late cousin Hadley's ex-husband, Remy, and their son Hunter. It had been a good visit and I was glad that I had gone.

But the best part?

I had family that was like me. It shouldn't have been such a big deal, but it was. I didn't have a lot of family to speak of, and the family that I did have was definitely persona non grata to me at the moment.

Hadley's ex had known exactly what I meant when I said Hunter would need me later on, although his thoughts had been sadly resigned. That should have upset me but it didn't. This whole mind reading thing wasn't an easy thing to live with. I knew that probably better than anybody else. .

He knew his son was different and it hadn't taken him long to realize that I wasn't the 'crazy cousin' that Hadley had portrayed me as. I wasn't any more crazy than Hunter. Sometimes, reading minds came in handy. Other times though, it was just a pain in the ass.

I had to admit though - this was one of those handy times because I knew exactly when Remy had made the connection between what was really wrong with me and Hunter's gift (or curse, Remy couldn't make up his mind about that). There was a hint of relief twirling around in his mind that now he wasn't alone in dealing with the freak factor that was sometimes his son. There had been too many times when Hunter had known things that he shouldn't have and said things that made people wary and uncomfortable. People didn't usually like their private thoughts aired out loud, and that was a lesson I had learned very early on.

I would teach Hunter that lesson.

A smile found its way to my lips and I turned the volume to the radio up. Usually I have a love/hate relationship with Carrie Underwood but at this exact moment, I was in a definite love stage. My car was running better than ever, thanks to the work that Tray Dawson had done and I was glad that my car had withstood the impact of hitting a huge vampire at maximum speed. Well, maybe not maximum speed, but close enough. I liked my car. Plus I was glad that I didn't have to deal with what would have happened if my car had been no longer drivable. I know Eric well enough to know that he wouldn't have let me get by without transportation and one thing I wasn't ready for right now was to be even more obligated to Eric than I already was.

Never mind that I knew that buying me a nice car would have brought Eric pleasure. In fact, he probably would have gotten more pleasure out of buying me a new car than I would have gotten driving the darn thing.

Sometimes I didn't like knowing Eric so well.

I sighed heavily and turned the volume up even more. No matter how hard I tried to keep him out, that vampire managed to creep into my thoughts when I just plain don't want him to.

That just plain pissed me off.

What was I going to do about Eric? One thing I did know - the days of pussy footing around each other was pretty much at an end. I knew we couldn't go on like we had been indefinitely, but I didn't think I was ready to admit to myself that I really liked that vampire.

Because I did.

I really did.

I sighed heavily again. I didn't want to like him. It would have been so much easier if he'd been the Eric that I'd first met - pompous and scary as hell. But he wasn't that Eric anymore and maybe he never was. Maybe I just needed him to be Scary Eric so I wouldn't look at him anymore than I had to. Besides, I'd been with Bill then, when I first met Eric. At that time, things had been good with Bill and I didn't like the fact that Eric had drawn my attention.

But then things went downhill with Bill - and Eric had been there. He was always there.

I snarled and hit the steering wheel in aggravation. Damn vampires. I glared at the radio and slammed it off. The last thing I needed to hear was Carrie singing 'Before He Cheats.' Carrie's methods of revenge were to be envied but I had been raised a lady and I had refrained from physically assaulting Bill's car after Eric had made Bill admit to me that he'd been sent by the Queen with the sole purpose to butter my muffin.

Although it had been a close one. How do you forgive someone for that? Because I had let Bill butter my muffin and he'd been the first one to do so. Nevermind that he'd buttered it well - the fact remained that he'd lied to me and I could never trust him again.

Truthfully, I wanted to take that Louisville Slugger to more than just his headlights. I wanted to batter Bill's entire body with it and shove it down his throat.

But did I mention that I had been raised as a lady?

Besides, I knew I had done more than physical damage to Bill with my current (non) relationship with Eric.. That gave me a slight thrill of vindication.

The problem still remained that I liked Eric. Never mind that he'd saved my life more times than I could count and he was incredible in bed - I just plain liked him. Now I was under his protection and the King's so when I said jump, Eric had to say 'how high.' It sort of put us on a more even playing field.

And I think I liked that.

_____

Merlottes that night was busy and I was glad. I had a lot on my mind and it made it easier to concentrate on shielding thoughts when I was completely bombarded with them. And let me tell you one thing - most people don't have thoughts worth listening to in a bar. There were always the few exceptions, but in general, it was the truth. After the first hundred times you hear guys speculating if your boobs were really as firm as they look, it was easy to shut them out.

Of course, my boobs really are as firm as they look, but that is beside the point.

I wanted to talk to Sam about what I found out about Hunter today but I didn't get the chance. It was still a strange feeling, knowing that aside from Barry the Bellboy, I could talk to someone else that was like me. I couldn't help but wish that I'd had someone like me there while I was growing up. I wonder if things would have turned out differently for me.

Not that I'm not happy with how I turned out - I am. It still would have been nice though. I might not have felt so alone.

I gave myself a mental shake. I didn't like wallowing in the 'what if's' and that is exactly what I doing. Wallowing. I hated that.

"Hey Sookie, get me another draft, would you?" Andy Bellefleur called, mercifully jostling me from my current thoughts. And I needed to be jostled. I didn't like thinking of how hard it had been having my gift and growing up in a small town. If I had a dollar for every time I had picked the words 'crazy' and 'Sookie' out of somebody's brain... well, let's just say I wouldn't be worrying about money right now. I'd be a pretty wealthy woman.

I smiled brightly at Andy. "Sure thing." I walked over to the bar and asked Sam to give me another draft. He gave it to me without comment. Sam seemed to have a lot on his mind tonight also - it was times like this that I almost wished I was privy to his thoughts also, but his shifter status made that impossible. I didn't know how he felt about my being so closely tied to Eric, although he seemed to have resigned himself to it. Especially since he had called Eric to stage an intervention to shake me out of my funk earlier this week, when I'd had to break Calvin's fingers because Jason's wife was a big fat ho. Well, a big, fat pregnant ho. I could feel the anger start to build at the thoughts of Jason and I took a deep breath. He'd set me and Calvin up and I wasn't about to forgive that, especially since I'd had nightmares about the look of agony on Calvin's face as the brick had shattered his fingers. I hadn't been prepared for the crunching sound and I shuddered in memory.

Yep, Jason was persona non grata to me and I was determined to keep him that way.

"You ok, Sookie?" Sam interrupted my mental wanderings to ask. He looked concerned and I realized I had been staring into Andy's beer. I had always wondered why people stared into their beer and now I could somewhat see the attraction.

I gave him a brief smile. "Yep. Just have a lot on my mind, you know." Without elaborating further, I put the beer on my tray and headed to Andy's table, and set it down. Andy picked it up gratefully. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that he'd had a lover's quarrel (except that I really was a mind reader). Andy looked miserable but I really didn't want to know so I hurried away before I was tempted to peek into his brain.

These days, I typically felt a little empty but I knew why, even if I didn't like it. My other half was missing. I'd say my better half but I was under no delusions in that regard. I was definitely the better half. That isn't vanity talking, by the way. It's merely the truth.

Just as quickly as it always did, that empty place suddenly swelled and I didn't have to turn around to know that my vampire had walked into Merlottes. Well, my other vampire, because Bill was no longer mine (and I no longer wanted him, even if he wanted to be. Which I knew he did, but that isn't the point.)

Unable to help myself, I allowed myself to turn around and acknowledge Eric framing the doorway. All conversation lulled as it usually did when the huge thousand year old Viking vampire crossed the threshold of Merlottes, Typically, Eric was flanked by the almost as impressive Pam, but tonight he was alone. I didn't blame people for losing their train of thought at Eric's presence. I was sometimes speechless myself when I looked at him.

Especially when he was naked.

Making a determined effort to trash those traitorous thoughts, I allowed myself to nod in Eric's direction. His answering smile was dazzling, as it usually was, and in that moment, all that existed on this earth was this beautiful vampire. He was magnificent.

And he was mine.

All I had to do was take him.

tbc...

Reviews are always nice!


	2. Chapter 2

Dead and Loving It

A/N- Can I just say... WOW?? Thank you soo much for the response to this fic!!!! And thank you to those that pointed out things that made chapter 1 read sooo much better! Again, not beta'd, so I apologize in advance. Comments always welcome!

Chapter 2

Caught up in the fervor of Eric's sudden presence, I accidentally lowered my protective shields and was immediately bombarded with the random thoughts of the fine patrons of Merlotte's.

I hated when that happened.

And there was no doubt about it - People were just plain scared of Eric. Not that I blame them, of course. But then again, they didn't know him like I did. (and that was a good thing, I'd hate to think of myself as a jealous type. Luckily, I seemed to be the only human Eric was interested in beyond just a quick snack.) There was more to Eric than met the eye and I'm not just talking about him being a fine specimen of a vampire. He was an enigma – he had layers. I'd say he was like an onion but I didn't want to get any more cliché than I already was.

Of course, it didn't help that on the occasions when Eric would grace Bon Temps with his presence, weird things tended to happen. Sometimes people got hurt. In fact, I'm surprised that Merlotte's continued to get repeat business with all the weird things that have happened since the Vampire Bill first stepped foot into this bar (a day that changed my life forever, I might add). Although it had dawned on me not too long ago that the weird was part of the attraction – like a bad car wreck that you couldn't look away from. Merlotte's wasn't Fangtasia, the vampire bar in Shreveport, but at times, it could be pretty darn close. Merlotte's seemed to attract the supernatural and I just didn't know what to do about that. Some of it was my fault, I know, but it sure as heck wasn't something I asked for. It didn't help that the owner of the bar was of the supernatural persuasion himself – although I doubted many of the townsfolk were privy to that little bit of info. From the swirling random thoughts bombarding me, I gathered that there was a sense of expectation; the hoping and dreading of some sort of mystical or supernatural occurrence. Supernatural rubber-necking at its worst.

I just didn't get people sometimes.

Of course, I'd been thrown right in the thick of more of those supernatural incidences than I cared to think about, so I might be a little biased. Even so, I just didn't see the thrill.

Throwing up those protective shields once more, I tuned out the hum of discord, fear and expectation and crossed the room to greet the vampire who had yet to take his eyes off of me. I was glad that I had taken the time to do something a little bit more with my hair and makeup before heading into work. There was something about the way that Eric regarded me that made me feel like the most beautiful woman alive.

God, I loved that about him.

Yep, Eric was good for the self-esteem. It didn't hurt that he was the most gorgeous specimen of man - alive or dead - that I had ever had the good fortune to lay my eyes on. There was just something so piercing and profound in his gaze when he watched me, it usually gave me chills. Well, when it didn't scare the bejeeses out of me, that is.

"Hey," I greeted softly when I reached him, tilting my head back to look into his face. Eric was a tall drink of water. You never really quite realized just how big he really was until you stood next to him (or in front of him, like I often did.) He was massive and I'm not just talking in size – his sheer presence was sometimes overwhelming. It definitely added to the wariness and fear that humans typically had of him. But for all of his size and strength, he could be the most gentle man I'd ever known.

He smiled at me again and I felt my heart skip a few beats. When I first met Eric, I'd seen him smile and noticed that it never reached his eyes. In fact, I used to have nightmares about that smile in the early days of our acquaintance because it was so sinister and often calculating and dangerous. Yet now, whenever he smiles at me, I can see the emotion reflecting in his gaze, as corny as that sounds. It reaches his eyes and it's a beautiful thing.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked, feeling the stares of Merlotte's finest boring holes into the back of my head. "Is something wrong?"

"No," he replied, taking my hand. "I just found myself needing to see you. I found that I miss you more than I'd like to."

"Oh," was all I could say. That Eric. He had such a way with words sometimes. Although I knew exactly how he felt, because it was something that I was experiencing also, and I probably didn't like it any more than Eric did. That feeling of discontent when distance separated us. Blood-bonds could be so annoying sometimes. "I'm off in an hour."

Eric nodded and released my hand, much to my chagrin. My senses protested the breech of physical contact. "I will wait for you." He stepped away from me and moved determinedly to the bar where he settled himself on a stool and nodded at Sam, who was working behind the wood slab, as he often did.

I let out a quiet sigh. It was hard enough to work when Eric wasn't in the vicinity – it was pure torture now that he was here. Pulling myself together, I made an attempt to get my thoughts back under control, grateful that Eric hadn't settled in my section. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the interaction between my boss and my vampire, expecting to see barely veiled tolerance. Sam was so predictable sometimes, and he'd made it clear how he felt about vampires, in general. But there wasn't the expected hostility and I realized with a start that Sam seemed to have a grudging respect for Eric and I caught no hint of animosity. That surprised me. Sam had hated Bill and it wasn't just a jealousy issue. He just flat out did not like Bill, and I had just assumed that dislike extended to all vampires, in varying degrees. Maybe the difference was that Sam knew Eric cared about my welfare as much as he did. Bill had a hidden agenda as far as I concerned, right from the start, and Sam had never trusted him. He'd been right to be wary of Bill.

Sam was sometimes like an over-protective father and I was used to that. I knew he worried about me, being a frail human and all, but Eric had obviously become an ally instead of a threat. This made me happy. I had told Sam not to long ago that I didn't belong to Eric – well, I lied.

I do.

These days, Sam was the closest thing to family I had, and I didn't like fighting with him. He hadn't been thrilled when he'd learned of the blood-bond that I had more or less been forced into with Eric and I guess it took being held captive together to form of bond of solidarity. I guess Sam had gotten over his resentment at being involved in what was clearly a vampire matter in his own backyard, even though he was to blame for Eric being in Bon Temps in the first place. I was glad about that because I had felt bad that Sam had been dragged into something that could have ended in a not very pretty way. Sigebert had been the Queen's bodyguard and he'd been very good at his job. Well, until recently, anyway. At least Sam hadn't been hurt. Eric obviously made a better friend than enemy and that was fine with me.

"Hey Sookie," Andy called, again breaking me from my mental wanderings. Boy, I was on a roll today. Good thing we weren't short any waitresses because Merlottes was hopping, as it usually was on a weekend night. There was a new waitress, Crystal, who had recently started working at Merlotte's who was surprisingly competent. And she seemed to take all the vampire shit in stride. Sam had a hard time keeping help with all the weird stuff that seemed to happen, and it was nice to have someone that could pick up the slack. Of course, tonight I was the slack and I was determined to snap myself out of it.

"Sookie," Andy called again.

I turned to him and gave him my brightest smile. Andy was a cop and was off-duty, but he still made me nervous. Maybe it was because I'd read his mind before and knew that he still thought like a cop, even when he was off duty. Not that I'd done anything wrong. Well, lately. I'd killed somebody a while back, but it was in self-defense. Still, I didn't like having that hanging over my head.

"Yes, Andy?" I said.

"Why don't you get me one of those burger and fries baskets," he ordered, and I was grateful for the distraction. Andy always ordered the same thing, as was evidenced by the gut that hung over his belt.

"I'll get that order in," I told him and headed to the kitchen. There was a new cook tonight and I hoped for Sam's sake that he worked out. Cooks didn't seem to last much longer than waitresses, and I tried not to think of Merlottes employee death toll. Sam probably didn't like to think about it either. It was too depressing.

The normal hum of the bar crept back up to its typical level once it was clear that Eric wasn't there in a weird shit capacity. Eric as Sookie's vampire boyfriend wasn't all that interesting. Well, it was interesting for me, but not for those that like the thrill of potential danger. Personally, I'd seen enough supernatural shit to last me a lifetime.

The last hour of my shift seemed to drag on. I admit it - it was hard to concentrate on what I was doing when I had someone as sexy as Eric watching my every move. His lust became my lust and it was becoming a painful thing. Maybe some of my own lust was mixed in there, but really... could you blame me? I didn't want to want him.

But I did.

I had a feeling I knew how this night would end and it wouldn't end with a chaste kiss on the cheek as he bade me goodnight, my virtue intact. And I'll be honest and admit that I would be disappointed if it did end that way. But Eric and I had much to discuss and I knew that was why he was here. It's probably why he showed up at my place of employment first instead of showing up at my doorstep. Unless I let him take me behind the bar and let him have his wicked way with me, we were bound by the rules of convention to actually talk without our hormones doing the talking for us.

I had been avoiding this conversation and I'll be the first to admit it. Thanks to the bond, I couldn't lie to Eric any more than I could lie to myself (although that doesn't stop me from trying, I'm good at trying to lie to both of us.)

The last ten minutes of my shift seemed to drag out as I continued to allow myself to become more and more distracted. As often happened when I'm not paying enough attention, my mental shields dropped and I would get snippets of thoughts slapping me upside the head, whether I wanted them or not. Usually I am good about filtering things out and not letting it show on my face that I'm hearing the intimate thoughts of people who would rather spit on me than have me over for dinner, but tonight was proving difficult. I think it was because Eric was there and my awareness of his presence was distracting me.

Five minutes until I would be able to slip out the door with Eric and I was feeling every second of it. With nothing strange happening with Eric's arrival, the bar patrons had resumed their regularly schedule programming. It was loud, but it often was on a Friday night.

I should have had more warning than I did, but just like what happened in Dallas, it wasn't until the very last second that I was aware of the danger that was approaching from the parking lot. The anger and loathing struck me like a bolt of lightening and I cried out at the onslaught of it. Hatred consumed my brain and I shut my eyes in an attempt to make sense of it.

Something weird was going to happen at Merlotte's tonight, but it wouldn't be thanks to the supernatural element.

These monsters were human.

TBC


End file.
